Weekly Mantra: Persistence

“The most essential factor is persistence - the determination never to allow your energy or enthusiasm to be dampened by the discouragement that must inevitably come.”

James Whitcomb Riley quotes

Life, to me, up to this point has been all about goals... neatly defined goals.  Graduate school, go to college, find a good job, own my own car, be debt free etc.  Over the last several months I have felt like I have hit a wall.  I am all out of goals to accomplish, well not all out but I am out of the low hanging fruit, the ones that I can do all on my own.  I feel like I made it all the way here without learning some of life's 'real lessons'.  From the get go I have been independent, I've always spent more time solo than with others.  I feel like every kid is taught basically the same things but there is something in that child that triggers them to latch on to certain life lessons more than others. My trigger, the thing that made sense to me, was the idea of a 'goal'. I liked it, it was logical. I know I was taught the same things as my brothers, how to be nice, play well with others, do your schoolwork etc., yet we have all ended up dramatically different, its interesting. Sometimes I feel like a robot just going through life's actions. I check 'things' off my list and search or new 'things' to add to it without really ever having passions for those 'things', the passion is in putting that little check in the box next to the thing.  

I have always been a little jealous of my bros for their 'real' passions. Nathan grew up in the same house as me but became very well adept at social skills, he has a friend everywhere he goes.  He is brilliant and charismatic and pours his heart and soul into everything he does.  Daniel grew up being introverted in his own way but incredible brilliant also. He always had the newest gizmo figured out before they even hit the market. He could mentally dissect even the most complex things and would spend countless hours doing so.  Both of my brothers grew up with great passions and interests in their situations, I grew up with a passion for putting that little check in the box next to the things that everyone seems to think are important, but maybe, as I look back, I was just going through the motions.

Before this sounds like a pity party I want to state that I am very proud of myself and I am very happy with my accomplishments. I have always felt I had a ton of drive but no real passion outside of my check list. I have just hit a point where I have to ask myself  'now what?'  When you are little you are taught how to create goals, and I was certainly encouraged to accomplish them, and taught how to accomplish them.  What I don't feel I was taught is how to 'live'.  Just live.  To be content with what I have and enjoy my daily activities.  I have been trying oh so hard to learn to relax and go with the flow. It's so foreign to me though so I keep wanting to revert to my comfort zone of pushing everything to the side and striving for that next thing.

But I can't, I have been working on redefining my own values, stepping back from my to-do list and just focusing on enjoying life.  I may have tricked myself into doing this by writing that down on a to-do list but hey, whatever works.  In the mean time I have met some amazing people, had some amazing adventures and seen amazing things.  Yet I still feel lost at times... but such is life I guess. So, the mantra this week is to be persistent, to believe that the end goal of this mind shift I am trying to make is for the greater good, to trust myself and to stick with it.

Persistence is the ability to maintain action regardless of your feelings. You press on even when you feel like quitting.  It is easy for me to question if my 'plan' is still legit, but I believe it is.  I am still inspired by the 'greater good' that will come of this mind shift and all of the things I will learn, even if its a bomb. I can’t guarantee that my goal for today will still be my goal a year from now, but so long as the trip inspires me I feel it's worthy. 

"The value of persistence comes not from stubbornly clinging to the past. It comes from a vision of the future that’s so compelling you would give almost anything to make it real."

"Persistence of action comes from persistence of vision. When you’re super-clear about what you want in such a way that your vision doesn’t change much, you’ll be more consistent — and persistent — in your actions. And that consistency of action will produce consistency of results."

I am grateful:

• That we had an awesome weekend in McCall
• That I have amazing friends and family
• For another week of work
• For my intellect
• For funny people

I am excited:

• For Nikka's birthday party
• To go to a pool party this weekend!
• To be able to volunteer with my boss and Vicki for the Marines
• To cook some dinner and relax
• To eventually get a Great Dane :)